Crickets

Earwax: Incubus - Morning View

The yet-unnamed-collaboration has brought on board a temporary drummer, none other than B himself. Vanessa and I dropped by SS15 to take a listen to the band play yesterday night, and, well, even Vanessa the uber-reviewer (skip to KakiSeni) begrudgingly admitted that B is a good drummer. The bass needs more work, the guitar needs cleaning up, and the vocalist needs a bullet in the vocal cords. For some reason, Kudin sounds like the mike's connected to an overdrive pedal, and I have no idea how or why. But we're KIV-ing them as a backup, as on the whole, they're not too shabby. I got it into my head to recruit B into the fellowship *ehe*; his style is very Buckland-ish with a dash of Pasillas II. In other words, quite perfect for the mix. Out of respect for his bandmates he's gonna ask them first though.

Anyway. Just an update, since I'm drowning in the quicksand of studio work. Later.

Don't Hang On, Don't Let Go

Earwax: Badly Drawn Boy's 'Once Around The Block' on repeat


I'm infatuated by your moves/I'm gonna search out for your clues


The polls are showing completely equal and opposing results. I've been asking opinions and inputs, they're all straight down the middle. Half of them say go on, continue, you can't switch off feelings. The other half are telling me not to be the bitch who breaks up 'two great years' (he says with emphasis, mind you). I even asked a certain lecturer for advice, and he's very perceptive. I may have just screwed myself there, considering he's B's lecturer this term and I've been in his class a lot lately for no reason. I have a sneaky feeling that B has a clue what's going on, and I know that he notices the more-than-friendly glances I've thrown his way.

To tell you the truth, I don't want to be the bitch. As far as I know, they could be planning baby names already, and I shouldn't jump in and mess it all up. After all, saaay lah kan, if he does leave her, whoever she is, for me, who's to say he won't do it to me? I can honestly say that even though it would hurt, I would completely expect it to happen. He's that worth it, and I'm asking myself why him of all people? The ones that I had I let go, and the one person that I want to hang on to already has someone in his life (which could probably raise the debate of me being commitment-phobic; we'll save that for another entry).

I don't know what is it about this guy. Sure, I've never liked anyone like him before, but there's nothing completely extraordinary about him either. And I can't even remember his face right now, not that he's particularly good looking. To paraphrase Carrie Bradshaw, this only happens when I really like someone. I only remember a feeling. I bask in his vibe. There's something about the way he looks at and speaks with other people, his Melayu-boy choice of words when he chooses to voice his many thoughts, his intelligence that seems to be more so than most around him. Even his scruffiness is beyond appealling. I can't brush it off. I know I shouldn't be the bitch. I know he probably isn't 'The One', even if this elusive person exists. But for the first time in years, I'm going to fight to hang on to this feeling.

To Be Or Not To Be (A Bitch, That Is)

So B has a girlfriend. Two great years, his words not mine. I'm currently in a spin whether to be a batu api and jeapordize a perfectly good union, or step aside and be a gracious loser.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not giving up.

Alamak

I was having the pleasure of B's company earlier this afternoon as he and a couple of other schoolmates discussed various professional goals. I listened to him philosophize (is that a word?) about different things ranging from being 19 with nothing to do to forming a design company to the scary girls of UiTM Shah Alam (main campus, Li) when I heard him say '-awek aku kat ACCA, jadi jauh sikit dari main campus ah.' Kaboom. I'll spare you all the 'what-if's that have been going around in my head for the past two hours and summarize into two things: a) I must find out whether an 'ex' was said before the 'awek', since someone else was talking at the same time and he said something I couldn't really hear, and b) subtley yet directly ask whether or not he has a girlfriend outright. He's not on Friendster, as far as I know, or I would've peered at his status.

Yes, I have stalker issues.

My cousin, dear Kak Zura, has been revealing all sorts of nasty information on men of B's species. 'Oh, budak UiTM.' 'Oh, budak enjin (engineering).' 'Oh, budak Alam Shah (which means he was in an asrama).' All these, apparently add up to the yet unexplored faction of the male population: the selekeh selambe mamats who talk 'macam sial' and dress in unwashed-for-a-week-at-least pants. I'm used to 'tackle'ing semi-eloquent boys who are quick on the uptake (or at least look like they've bathed), so this... this is unchartered territory. But at least Kak Zura comforted me by saying 'Alah, budak macam tu memang ada daya tarikan dia sendiri. Cari macam mana pun you tak tau apa benda yang attractive sangat pasal dia.' So, basically, she says, it's not my fault.

But is he taken? That is the question. I'm going to find out on Monday, when I give Aris a ride to school and back for absolutely no reason at all other than to see B.

Yes, I'm pathetic.

(And yes, you are reading this. I love you too.)

Ooh-Er

Earwax: And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Source Tags & Codes (html geeks much?)

First off, thanks to the Pa'an for the latest addition to my earwax collection, refer above.

But I have other things to tell.

B is acting strange. Either he knows and he's backing away or he notices and he's silently reciprocating. I'm betting on the first, but I must say I've caught him stealing glances my way. Pelik bin Ajaib. Oh well. Take it as it comes, right?

And no, Sa, I do not own three Lomo cameras, I want to own three Lomo cameras. So I have messy sentence structures. Sue me.

And for a quick pick-me-up, head over to Li's for the biggest laugh you'll have today.

Choices, Choices

I oh-so-cleverly sprained my left knee yesterday while doing turning kicks during grading, which resulted in Mr Roger shiatsu-ing the joint to death today. Mr Zoha's arm was the nearest thing I could grab to counteract the hideous pain. "Oi! Lepas! Kau pegang tu (points to the armrest), kau gigit tu (points to the back of the chair)!" I still can't walk properly, and it'll be a while before I do.

But that's is not what this entry's about.

I have a non-dilemma. Once again, I have options, and this time it's the real thing and not just plural-izing it for the sake of making myself feel better or having someone to roll in the hay with just because. Behind Curtain Number One, we have a sweet, intelligent, ass-kicking 17 year old whom I get along with great (let's call him W). From what I've observed, he's not exactly the type to be chummy around just anyone, so this is an advantage. His brother is a major arse in many ways, so that is a potential problem, furthermore something tells me not to pursue another martially-inclined man, as different from the previous one as he is. Plus if after yesterday's not-so-subtle declaration of his affect on me still leaves him clueless, then we can move on to Curtain Number Two. Behind which, we have a distant (read: shy-ish), scruffy (read: selekeh), possible guitar-strumming (read: very good) mamat whom I've just recently gotten properly acquainted with (let's call him B). A junior in college, could very well be older in age actually, and has that certain appeal some men have that seems to work with only me. Oh, and Pa'an, this is the one I told you about that looks like he could be related to Ham. He's in the Interior stream, but I've been told that I'm good at swaying people my way. Ahem. He seems like one of those people who wait forever for the other to say hi first, then takes forever to shut up themselves, a species which I'm very intrigued with. These two are so far on opposite ends of the spectrum from each other; the only things they have in common are lovely smiles and Proton Wiras. Not much to go on. I love the vibe that comes off B, but I do adore how W makes me feel.

Well well. From not looking at all to suddenly having to choose which observation deck to have my picnic on (bad analogy, I know, but I was never one for words). I'm not looking for life-partner prospects since I've learnt my lesson well, thank you very much, but I do miss having a man to turn to at the end of the day. And here come not one, but two men representing real possibilities that I've been needing, and both actually mean something to me. I'm not asking for advice, by the way. I'm just voicing my non-dilemma.

So there you go.

What Happened During The Silence

Earwax: Cordrazine's 'Crazy'

I did something today I've never done before. After studio time was over, I packed my sketches and headed to TGIF Section 14. Alone. The head waiter asked, out of duty's sake, whether I was expecting anyone else. "No," I replied, and promptly ordered Friday's Mushrooms followed by Fried Mozzarella. It was unsettlingly fun to sit at the table alone, flipping through the latest KLue while having an overdose of appetizers. I promised me to bring myself out on my own more often.

School is, for the first time in ages, good. I'm actually on track, and it's just the third week. I have quite a few things to sort through and edit to compile in my portfolio which will be featured here, sometime soon. It's going to compromise of a whole barrage of stuff, ranging from classwork to possible MP3s of Anjakan Paradigma (Do we need a name change? Just curious). The muse is doing his job wonderfully. Taekwondo grading's on Thursday (cross your fingers). Baby and I are overdue for our Jalan-Makan tour which might have to be after Raya, by the looks of it. Low Chee Hong is Baby, and it's not what you're probably thinking. KLPHQ is confirmed for Amplitude Attitude, which is what we're calling the gig now. Thank you Irman, wet pants are now possible. My parents will be away for almost two weeks out of Ramadhan to perform Umrah, so semi-guilty late nights of songwriting sessions will ensue. The Pa'an is coming back next week, and Mr Soon has, out of nowhere, volunteered to help me with songwriting. So now music classes will be a mixed bag of blues progressions, jazz comps, and my own key-twiddling; in a nutshell, doing me loads of good. Carnivale is a gorgeous, heady combination of gritty color schemes, disturbing mind trips and perfectly imperfect characters. Nick Stahl is the ideal man to portray such reluctant power and strange charisma.

It's late. And I don't know how to end this post. I have too much to say. And lacklustre to back it up.

(o Li, wherefore art thou?)

Finally

You like? You like? I like very much. Portfolio section will be added in due time, proper posts in a bit. I'm outta here.

Oh, and skip to the photolog, I've got some for download if your heart so desires.

It's Just A Phase

Okay, the reason for the fugly colors are so that I will get on with the new layout, pronto. So don't mind me.


So the gig details have changed, majorly. Read on as follows..

Venue: Liquid, KL (behind Central Market)
Date: tentatively 15th December, trying to shift this to the weekend
Playlist: Damn Dirty Apes
KLPHQ
Sgt. Weener Arms
Seven Collar T-Shirt
Ziel (Raffique's band)
AP (Farhan & I)

There's more to be added, but details are fuzzy, so I'll update again and again and again as required.


p/s - Lack of entries due to creativity channeled to other pursuits. Back in a bit, folks.

Someone's Got A New Toy!

Earwax: Tool - Lateralus

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I have a digital camera. I finally have a digital camera (deep breaths, deep breaths). Photolog is thisaway, folks! The image barrage commences now. New layout next week, wait for it.

I'm gonna tap dance around my room now.