Earwax: The (International) Noise Conspiracy
Two to a room. 'UM suah! Alif unggul!' Backaches from naps. Really loud sex discussions at the most quiet mamak stall ever. Countless rounds of late-night gin rummy. The adopted kitten taking a nap on my lap. 'Chee How, pinjam your phone, I want to play game can ah?' Ken Yeang the most godawful boring great Malaysian architect. Asyraf with the sex god jelingan maut. Moisz and the toothy toothy grin. The lost Bourdon relative Johan. 'Jangan geletek ah! Belakang aku geli wei!' More naps. The most wordy concept brief ever written by me, scientific ideas of time omitted. 'You present la, I don't want!!!' 'You listen to Death Cab? Can I hug you?' Radiohead music videos. The architecture fashion show, the Ken Yeang model holding the green umbrella. One blocked nasal passage. Putrajaya, Mr Mahathir's real scale SimCity. 'Budak ni kalau boleh, QS pun dia nak tanya siapa!' 17 bricks held up by nothing but newspapers and straws. Aaron the surprisingly sweet chotaiti sifu. Getting chased off the boys' floor. Embarrassing displays of low stamina. Coldplay's B-Sides. Iki the sprinkling hot temporary boyfriend. A stolen Nokia handphone. The best nap of my life. 'Come on Hazwan, I'll give you someone to sit with. Me.' Me, awarded as the best female participant. The cutest guy in a cowboy hat asking for my number. 'Goreng pisang, goreng pisang, goreng pisang sekarang!' Shower karaoke sessions. Seven Collar's Drones. A swollen toe. Sze Hsiung the awesomest awesome guy ever <3
The past six days were a blur of boredom, exertion, fun, tiredness and laughter that I'll never forget. Cheers, UPM. I'm never going back X) UTM, I'll definitely be there next year.
ALIF UNGGUL!!
April 22, 2005
April 15, 2005
Spring Cleaning
Earwax: OST DIrty Dancing: Havana Nights
My mouth is causing me trouble again. I really should watch myself. The root of the story is still private, so I can't blab it here, but I basically pissed off someone bad. I apologized over and over, because I know I can be a real shithead bitch most of the time and promised her that I'd try my best to pick my words properly. I'm actually glad (kind of) that she told me off because I need a good kick in the rear once in while. Speaking from a realistic point of view, I'll probably never learn actually, but it's still better to be optimistic. I'm sorry, I really am. To think about it, I'm actually a lot better at controllin my mouth now than I was five years ago, but to some people, they never forget, which explains my sparse number of friends. In a way, it probably worked out for the better, but that's not the point. I'm sorry to everyone that I ticked off, and please tell me when I do. When it's your mother that's the one breathing down your neck all the time it get easy to brush off, but coming from your friends, you know you're in deep shit, so reprimand me, I'll most probably deserve it anyway.
(And in line with human nature, I shall be mad at her in return. Yes, I never learn.)
I know I was wrong, but geez, you've said worse things AND NOT APOLOGIZED FOR THEM. You've done worse things, dammit. I don't see how you get priority on being pissed (and I'm not saying that I do) but look in the mirror next time you tell someone off for being a moron, you fucker. I could move on and display your laundry list of stooopid-ass shit that you've said and done, especially to certain people that I love, and I know you're never gonna apologize in a million years because you always think you're right don't you. At least I know I was wrong. You always think everyone else but yourself are. Pull your head out of the sand, do something right with your life and stop leeching off your parents if you think they're so useless. And if you keep thinking that everyone you know is an idiot, then it's no wonder that the only man you can snag is the one who can't get anyone else either. Keep being a bitch, see who sticks around. Because I'm tired of you.
Okay, I'm done.
Edit: Actually, in retrospect, I think I'm subconsciously trying to steer her away from my life. I never really wanted her in it, it's just so happens that she's good friends with someone who I'm good friends with. I never really did anything about it before, as I didn't want my friend to have to choose between us because I love this friend to death, but now, I'm just too sick of her and I want her out. Does that make sense? Sigh. This is just too much drama that I don't need.
My mouth is causing me trouble again. I really should watch myself. The root of the story is still private, so I can't blab it here, but I basically pissed off someone bad. I apologized over and over, because I know I can be a real shithead bitch most of the time and promised her that I'd try my best to pick my words properly. I'm actually glad (kind of) that she told me off because I need a good kick in the rear once in while. Speaking from a realistic point of view, I'll probably never learn actually, but it's still better to be optimistic. I'm sorry, I really am. To think about it, I'm actually a lot better at controllin my mouth now than I was five years ago, but to some people, they never forget, which explains my sparse number of friends. In a way, it probably worked out for the better, but that's not the point. I'm sorry to everyone that I ticked off, and please tell me when I do. When it's your mother that's the one breathing down your neck all the time it get easy to brush off, but coming from your friends, you know you're in deep shit, so reprimand me, I'll most probably deserve it anyway.
(And in line with human nature, I shall be mad at her in return. Yes, I never learn.)
I know I was wrong, but geez, you've said worse things AND NOT APOLOGIZED FOR THEM. You've done worse things, dammit. I don't see how you get priority on being pissed (and I'm not saying that I do) but look in the mirror next time you tell someone off for being a moron, you fucker. I could move on and display your laundry list of stooopid-ass shit that you've said and done, especially to certain people that I love, and I know you're never gonna apologize in a million years because you always think you're right don't you. At least I know I was wrong. You always think everyone else but yourself are. Pull your head out of the sand, do something right with your life and stop leeching off your parents if you think they're so useless. And if you keep thinking that everyone you know is an idiot, then it's no wonder that the only man you can snag is the one who can't get anyone else either. Keep being a bitch, see who sticks around. Because I'm tired of you.
Okay, I'm done.
Edit: Actually, in retrospect, I think I'm subconsciously trying to steer her away from my life. I never really wanted her in it, it's just so happens that she's good friends with someone who I'm good friends with. I never really did anything about it before, as I didn't want my friend to have to choose between us because I love this friend to death, but now, I'm just too sick of her and I want her out. Does that make sense? Sigh. This is just too much drama that I don't need.
April 06, 2005
Oh Brother
Okay, I think I’m over-saturating myself with Charolastra love. Good thing I have an idiot brother breathing down my neck to take my mind off it. Can you believe he’s lecturing me on career choices? Mr I-Have-A-Degree-In-Photography-But-Now-I’m-A-Business-Exec-Working-With-A-Computer-Marketing-Company? I appreciate you ‘not wanting to make the same mistakes you did’ but don’t for a second think that I don’t already know that, so fuck you. I know full well that nothing in life comes easy, thank you very much. I know that all I need to do is get off my ass, but if I don’t, nothing NOTHING nothing you can say will make me. I’m not proud of it, but that’s who I am. I wish I could change, but people don’t.
Life right now is a crumpled lollipop wrapper wedged in a sewer trap collecting grime and soot. But at least I have friends.
At least I have friends.
I Somehow Find, You And I Collide
Earwax: The Dissociatives - The Dissociatives
I'm getting to be quite the sap these days. Howie Day on repeat, Nick Hornby re-read, A Walk To Remember watched yet again. But most of all, I'm getting all corny on my friends, which is weirding them out to no end (and in turn amuses me to no end). I sent Melissa an email yesterday, and a sentence slipped into it that I didn't I had in me. She was saying that she wasn't really thinking about home, but after the call I gave her, she started to really miss home. And I was saying that my friends and Singapore are my home way more than my immediate family and the Klang Valley could ever be, and I guess it's because family and where they set up camp are not something you can always choose, but with friends you can, and you give your heart to them.
So I told her: "I guess when I called you, it meant that I missed home, if you know what I mean."
Friends are something that I don't have that many of. I have many acquaintances, sure, who doesn't. But those who I can truly call friends, or 'soul family' like my newest friend Maria put it, are few and far in between. I can count the number of friends I have on my fingers and still have enough digits left over to go bowling with. But this is when that old adage comes in, when it's quality not quantity that counts. I'm perfectly content with my sparse collective of comrades, because I know that they will be there for me when I need them, as opposed to some people who have three phone books worth of 'friends' and when their day is sucky they can't talk about it with any one of them. Melissa does say that I seem to have a great knack for exchanging pleasantries with strangers though, which I admit is somewhat true, but there aren't many of them that I would trust with my 'I can't believe I'm such an idiot' stories.
You know who you are. The ones who gave me a shoulder to cry on when my life was spiraling down the drain, the ones who allowed me to ransack their refrigerators with only a slightly raised eyebrow. The ones who I gladly paid international toll charges to call and sms, the ones who consider me precious enough to buy me gifts. And even though we may fight over offensive things that were said, I know in time we'll be okay and come out the other end even greater friends than before. I love all of you, and you are my home.
(I am a sap, aren't I?)
I'm getting to be quite the sap these days. Howie Day on repeat, Nick Hornby re-read, A Walk To Remember watched yet again. But most of all, I'm getting all corny on my friends, which is weirding them out to no end (and in turn amuses me to no end). I sent Melissa an email yesterday, and a sentence slipped into it that I didn't I had in me. She was saying that she wasn't really thinking about home, but after the call I gave her, she started to really miss home. And I was saying that my friends and Singapore are my home way more than my immediate family and the Klang Valley could ever be, and I guess it's because family and where they set up camp are not something you can always choose, but with friends you can, and you give your heart to them.
So I told her: "I guess when I called you, it meant that I missed home, if you know what I mean."
Friends are something that I don't have that many of. I have many acquaintances, sure, who doesn't. But those who I can truly call friends, or 'soul family' like my newest friend Maria put it, are few and far in between. I can count the number of friends I have on my fingers and still have enough digits left over to go bowling with. But this is when that old adage comes in, when it's quality not quantity that counts. I'm perfectly content with my sparse collective of comrades, because I know that they will be there for me when I need them, as opposed to some people who have three phone books worth of 'friends' and when their day is sucky they can't talk about it with any one of them. Melissa does say that I seem to have a great knack for exchanging pleasantries with strangers though, which I admit is somewhat true, but there aren't many of them that I would trust with my 'I can't believe I'm such an idiot' stories.
You know who you are. The ones who gave me a shoulder to cry on when my life was spiraling down the drain, the ones who allowed me to ransack their refrigerators with only a slightly raised eyebrow. The ones who I gladly paid international toll charges to call and sms, the ones who consider me precious enough to buy me gifts. And even though we may fight over offensive things that were said, I know in time we'll be okay and come out the other end even greater friends than before. I love all of you, and you are my home.
(I am a sap, aren't I?)
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